onedumbsheep

The Legend of Viddy

2012-01-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

The Legend of Viddy

Part 1: A Peasant in the City

Viddy: We’re not in Kansas anymore.

Jazzel: Hundreds ofmiles from family, half the home, buggies backed up for miles on the roads, andmost-wanted posters plastered on every street corner… I’d say not!

Viddy: I’m so sorry sweetie. It’s not too late to go back.Just say the word, and…

Jazzel: Our master sent us here for a reason.

Viddy: I guess so. Two years max and we’ll be outta here. Just you wait. It will fly righton by before we even know it!

Jazzel: Hmmf… glad you’re so optimistic…

Part 2: A Peasant under the Rocks

Viddy: Just 23 more months. 23 more. That’s all. We can dothis. School, work, home, shool, work, home, school, work, home. Just keep onshovelin’ … … … … … … Honey, I’m home!

Jazzel: Hi dear. How was your day? … Oh that’s nice … … … …… … You know, honey, I feel like we’ve been here forever already, and we’re notmeeting anyone.

Viddy: Well, to be fair, we haven’t made much effort.

Part 3: A Peasant in the Light of Day

Viddy: ... And dear, look over there! It’s the sun! Do you knowhow long it’s been since I’ve seen the sun? I had forgotten what it lookedlike. Jazzel… it’s been a year. I think it’s time we start making a little moreeffort to meet people.

Jazzel: I thought you’d never say it! It’s been a long,miserable twelve months. And we’ve got twelve more to go. Let’s make the bestof them.

Viddy: Let’s J

Part 4: A Peasant on the Job

Priest: Viddy, we’ve lost our best warrior, and you’re theonly person we think will lead our troops on the battlefield. Will you accept theposition?

Viddy: Duhhh, sure! I don’t see why not!

…

Viddy: Honey, all this knowledge, all this “experience” onthe battlefield, and yet I still feel completely unprepared.

Jazzel: Hasn’t the master always come through for you at theright times? Where’s your trust?

Viddy: I guess you’re right.

Part 5: The Making of a Legend

Viddy: I can’t believe we made it dear! 24 months later… wedid it!

Jazzel: Yes dear, we made it J

…

Child 1: Did you hear? Viddy killed a lawn gnome with hisbare hands on the battle field?!?

Child 2: Yeah? Well I heard he slaughtered a pack of ogres justusing his nose hair and a pair of tweezers!

Child 1: Woooooowwwww!

THE END

I’m pretty sure this is the dumbest script ever written, butit serves its purpose in reminding me of where God has brought me, exposing aridiculous over-exaggeration, and teaching a lesson about life.

Where God Has Brought Me…

From the cornfields in East Central Indian—an insecure,isolated follower of Christ—to the busy south burbs of Chicago—a disciple ofJesus, still a little insecure at times, but growing in confidence and assurance of God’s provision and plan and growingin love for people.

Exposing a Ridiculous Over-exaggeration…

I’ve seen SEVERAL youth pastors come and go since Godplugged me into youth ministry, so I’ve learned that Paul’s message to theCorinthians is important for students and leaders to understand. You follow Paul,so-and-so follows Apollos, all the while GOD is the One building His kingdom.On our way out at Brickhouse (the most awesome student ministry ever!!), mywife and I were treated like saviors. Don’t get me wrong, we loved the recognition,gratitude, and love that we received, but somewhere along the way, we were madeinto these legendary beings that we’re really not. Brickhouse had a team ofabout 30 leaders that have been working their tails off to love students foryears now, and if it’s like most youth ministries, they won’t get any recognition for it.Brickhouse continues to do awesome things without my wife and I around. It’ssurvived several changes in leadership, yet God keeps building His kingdom.Forget Paul. Forget Appolos. Let’s recognize and thank the One Who’s REALLYbehind it all!

A Life-Lesson Extracted…

My two years in Chicago were great. I’m going to miss it. Ispent four semesters gaining knowledge and confidence through great instructionat Moody Bible Institute. But the biggest lesson was learned on the job. I didn’ttake out any lawn gnomes or ogres at Brickhouse. In fact, I didn’t do much. Youknow what I DID? I showed up. I was there. For two years I waspresent. Honestly, that’s all I can come up with. My lesson learned is this:effective ministry, no matter what age you’re with, is boiled down to LOVINGGOD, LOVING PEOPLE, and BEING PRESENT. My job is to be me, a person who lovesGod, and then God does the rest. He provides the leader with the right words orthe right idea at just the right time (Honestly, most of the good ideas I have ever come “out of nowhere” at just the right time). He places a group of uniqueindividuals with one-of-a-kind gift mixes together to do His work of lovingpeople. We leaders try to discover some super-complex formula of ministry thatwill finally put us over the edge, but our search is in vain. We’re trying tofigure out how Paul or Appolos can build an entire kingdom. They can’t. Let’sjust choose to humbly serve God as He builds His kingdom through us. Then we’llbe amazed at what God can accomplish through a bunch of peasants like us.

Thank you God for this season in my life!

"I'll Have a Number One with a Side of Pain Please"

2012-01-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

Not many of us are looking for a side order of pain in our lives. I'll have all the good things this life has to offer, but none of that other stuff please. Wouldn't it be great if life was just kisses and hugs, smiles and laughter, thrills and highs. Wouldn't it be awesome if life always worked out the way you wanted it to: if you always succeeded at work, your doctor called back with good news, you got the grade/car/house/boyfriend/girlfriend you wanted? What's up with all this guilt, and failure, and disappointment, and pain?

This is the point when most marketers will jump in and tell you how to avoid all that. "You know there's a pill/thrill/vacation/upgrade/hobby/book/technique that will fix that for you... a little money can buy you anything, my friend."

Most of us think of life this way:

There you are standing on the peak. You're goal is to make sure you're always moving toward the right and away from the left. You fix your gaze on pleasure and curse pain as you look back in your rear view mirror.

In his research in leprosy, the late Dr. Paul Brand saw what life was without pain. Don't get too excited, unless you're up for a side order of leprosy. After watching thousands of lepers become completely debilitated, Brand discovered that these men and women were losing hands, feet, eyes, and more not because of a disease, but because they didn't sense pain; their warning system wasn't functioning. These lepers, and Dr. Brand, see the value of pain. They've learned that pain and pleasure are necessary and beneficial parts of life. Like love and marriage, you can't have one without the other. To cut either out would mean sleep, apathy, or death.

As long as we're on this plateau called life, we may as well embrace both. As strange as it sounds, let's thank God for both the pain and pleasure He allows in our lives.

"Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:39

The Perfect Christmas

2011-12-24T21:45:00.000-08:00

If you could hire a "Christmas designer" to design the perfect Christmas, what would it look like? White snow? Glowing friends and family filling a large room with love and laughter? A tasty, juicy ham injected with pineapple or coke? Loved ones praising you for picking the perfect gift? A black Lexus with a big red ribbon wrapped around it? What does your perfect Christmas look like?

Actually, there was only one perfect Christmas, and it took God (not a "Christmas designer" or "super-mom") to pull it off. And even still, the perfect Christmas wasn't so perfect by our standards. Actually the perfect Christmas sounds a lot more like a typical Christmas for busy moms and dads. Travel through not-so-perfect weather and a day refusing to go according to the ideal plan. Exhaustion, frustration, and messiness. And THIS was the perfect Christmas. And I don't know for sure, but I think Mary would have agreed. Why? Because she wasn't aiming for just the right present for Joseph. She wasn't aiming for the perfect meal or a spotlessly clean home. She wasn't aiming for anything but the presence of Jesus.

By those standards, maybe you've had a lot more close-to-perfect Christmases than you think. Sure the green bean casserole didn't turn out just like you planned; no, you didn't get that gift you were hoping for; and yes, you're absolutely worn out by all the business. But when all the excessive expectations are stripped away, and when squint your eyes and look beyond the dense forest of commercialism, you'll find that this Christmas, like every other Christmas is one more reminder of that one perfect Christmas celebrated by Mary, Joseph, and a few strangers so long ago. A day to remember that day in history when God humbly invaded our story.

So raise the bar for your expectations this Christmas. Snow, family, smiles, gifts, love, laughter, and good cooking may be a part of it too, but I hope that you're expecting more. I hope you're expecting an awareness God's presence and gifts like peace, love, and hope that He brings each year as you remember Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Only for a Season

2011-12-20T19:36:00.000-08:00

It's only for a season. That's what I told myself while I was in the midst of my third all-nighter in two weeks to finish another paper for school.

It's only for a season. That's what came to mind when I discovered my truck had been broken into again.

It's only for a season. That's what I reminded myself every time I sat at the traffic lights for ten minutes in front of Kohl's in Highland.

It's only for a season. That's what I thought when I had to turn down yet another invitation to hang out with the guys on campus at Moody.

It's only for a season. It's only for a season. It's only for a season. I kept reminding myself. I never let myself forget. It's only for a season.

The season I've been referring to for the last two years is coming to an abrupt end. And I'm terribly sad about it. The season I just couldn't wait to get through, the season I was just praying to survive, has turned out to be the best yet. As I look back at the last two years, I have so much to thank and praise God for.

The season of worshiping with what has become my family at Crossroads is coming to an end. Thank You God for placing these wonderful people in my life! Thank You especially for the leadership and wisdom Drew Brown has poured into my life. Thank You for the opportunity Kris Vos and Road Crew gave me to serve at Crossroads. Thank You for placing caring people like Joan Buss and Tiffany Nottingham in my path. Thank You for this season at Crossroads. I wish it didn't have to end.

The season of ministering to and with the awesome students of Brickhouse is coming to an end. Thank You God for showing me what it means to simply love You and love students. Thank You for an endless list of great memories with students. Thank You for allowing me to watch you change students' lives. Thank You for allowing me to see such an amazing team of volunteer adult leaders who give their time, talents, and energy every week in Your name. Thank You for the Fight Club guys, for the fun we had and the challenges we overcame. Thank You for showing me You can use a quiet, thoughtful, and just-plain-weird guy like myself. Thank You for this season at Brickhouse. I wish it didn't have to end.

The season of studying at Moody Bible Institute is coming to an end. Thank You God for teaching me more about You! Thank You for allowing me to explore my gifts in ministry, especially writing and counseling. Thank You for placing Mitch Tabla in my path at orientation and for the friendship we developed over two years. Thank You for bringing Matt Seaver into my life... chainsaw, beard, and all! Thank You for Ian Stewart and the time we were able to spend getting to know each other and praying for each other this past semester. Thank You for exposing me to great professors like Dr. Finkbeiner and Mrs. Smith, who humbly and lovingly teach with excellence. Thank You for revealing Yourself to me in real, tangible ways every day as You coordinated my studies with my experiences.

It was only for a season. Praise GOD for this season of my life!

Moody, Crossroads, and Brickhouse, you made this a season I'll never forget!

Providence and Prayer

2011-09-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

When God moved my family to Chicago, I wasn't sure what He had in store for me. I guessed, "Maybe He's bringing me here to fill the Bible gaps in my brain. Or maybe He's planning to give me a little better theoretical understanding of what ministry is all about. Or it could be that He just wants me to learn something more about myself." In my time up north, He has accomplished all of these things, but I'm convinced He had a broader purpose in bringing me here. In the months and years prior to moving from that small, rural community in East Central Indiana, this was a regular prayer of mine: "Father, open my eyes, and help me to see your hand at work in my life and in the world around me."

Divine providence. That's what they call it in the classroom where I read all about it and wrote essays on it. Having a little book knowledge about providence is helpful, but God allowing me to witness it and experience it is what has really shaped me and my view of Him. Seeing Him work has softened me. Seeing Him work has created in me a spirit of humility, thanksgiving, and praise. God is more active in our lives and in the world than we will ever know. In His divine providence, God has spent the last 20 months teaching me about... His providence. And about prayer.

Bible knowledge is pretty important for a pastor. We get that. Of course it is! There's nothing more important, right? We have to be prepared to handle the Word of God with care, accuracy, and reverence. Preaching and teaching is what pastors do. At least that's the thing we see them doing every week when the spotlights shining brightly on him and his mic is amped up. What we don't see are the hours of prayer for the needs of the congregation. The prayers asking for guidance. The prayers seeking wisdom. The prayers just resting in His presence and nurturing a love relationship. Prayer is what shapes the pastor's heart and vision. Without prayer, the Bible feels stale. And so does the pastor's teaching. So it shouldn't be any surprise to me that God has taught me as much about prayer in the last 20 months as He has about the Bible.

It has been interesting how providence and prayer have intersected and interacted in my life. I'm currently reading Richard Foster's Prayer. Yesterday, I sat down to read a chapter and thought, "This has been one of the most relaxing, restful days I've had in several months." I sat for a few minutes watching a storm roll in and listening to the rain. Ahhhhh. When I opened my book to chapter 9 and read the title "The Prayer of Rest," I wasn't surprised that God, in His providence, had me reading about this topic on this day at this time. God's divine fingerprints were all over this one.

"Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matt. 11:28-29)

I'm so thankful for what God is teaching me, and I'm eager to see what He does next. What is He going to teach me? How is He going to shape me? Whose heart is He preparing to hear the Gospel? What is He doing in the hearts and minds of this generation of believers? Where is He taking us?

God is good.

Entertaining Burnette

2011-08-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

I wasn't planning on taking the 2:35 train out of Millennium Station today, but I forgot my study materials, so there was no reason for me to stay on campus. As I entered the first car, I performed my usual ritual of perusing the passengers to determine who I should sit next to in order to maximize my study time. In other words, who is least likely to BUG me?

Oooohh... this one looks promising. A middle-aged African American woman was already engaged in reading what appeared to be a work-related memo. I settled down, turned my Bible to the third chapter in Hosea, and tried to begin meditating on this remarkable picture of God's love. But my brain wasn't cooperating. "You know, it's no coincidence you're sitting here on this train at this time in this seat by this woman," my brain randomly communicated. "Maybe you should try talking to her." Maybe I should. I wonder what she's reading. That's always a good conversation starter. I glanced over and saw the Salvation Army logo at the top of her document. Hmmm. It would be pretty easy to strike up a conversation about that... but I have so much reading to get done. And Hosea is one of my favorite books. It's only a 50-minute train ride. Maybe I can get through all 14 chapters. I refocused.

Then a nudge came from the woman sitting next to me. "Excuse me. What are you reading?"
"Hosea," I said.
"What's that? What do you mean 'Hosea?'"
"It's my Bible. I'm reading Hosea."
"And what's that mean to you?"
"It's a love story. It's a story about God's relationship with Israel, but even more, it's a story about me. It's a story about my relationship with God, my unfaithfulness, and his loving kindness to forgive and bring me back to him."

And that was how my conversation with Burnette began. For the next 40 minutes, she spoke passionately and eloquently of the loving God whom we both serve. At one point during our conversation, I literally thought to myself, "Is it possible that this beautiful Christian woman is actually an angel from God?" I struggled to recall the verse that speaks about "entertaining angels" (then my ADD mind took me to a DC Talk song titled after this verse before bringing me back to my original thought... what is that verse... Hmmm... anyway...). Burnette's joy, humility, passion, and love were infectious. She was a light. She recalled Scripture like no one I've met, and she naturally wove it into the conversation. By themselves, these things were very impressive. Coupled with her circumstances they were awe-inspiring.

Burnette never took the 2:35 train before today. She couldn't. She worked until 3. Today was different though. Today Burnette was informed that it was her last day at work. She was dismissed after lunch. With the loss of her job still fresh in her mind and with an acute awareness of her husband's present unemployment, Burnette took 40 minutes to encourage me that GOD IS FAITHFUL. She's not worried about paying the bills because God blesses her every time as long as she stays in His will. During the course of our conversation, she paused several times to thank and praise God that He already had her next "assignment" lined up. "He's come through for me every time in the past, and this time will be no different," she said enthusiastically. "And He'll do the same for you! He's so faithful!" And this wonderful conversation continued...

There is so much more I could share with you about my encounter with Burnette. What a beautiful, inspiring woman! When I stepped on that train, I was looking forward to meditating on one of the great books of the Bible, but God had something even better lined up for me. Burnette brought me a message from God today:

"God is faithful! You can trust Him to come through for you!"
"No matter where you are, job or no job, you are ALWAYS on assignment for the Lord!"

I won't forget the message she carried, and I won't forget her.

Thank you Burnette for turning an ordinary commute into a heart-softening encounter with God. May God continue to bless you and your husband. And may He continue to show Himself so powerfully in your life as you witness about His greatness. I'm grateful He put you on assignment on Eastbound Train 109 this Tuesday at 2:35pm. Love, peace, and blessings!

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2)

Holy Spirit Thrift Shop

2011-08-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Every time my wife and I drive pass the Holy Spirit Thrift Shop in Gulf Shores, Alabama, one of us cracks a stupid joke. Buy one Holy Spirit get the second half off! Tonight before publicly mocking the poorly named store, I decided to find out what actually happens inside. Sixty seconds later my perspective was enlightened a bit. I discovered it's a ministry that provides necessary clothing and household items for people in need at a very low price. Whaddya know... it actually looks to be a worthy ministry. A blog post that was originally intended to be a mocking of Christian marketing strategies is now a lesson about ignorance.

It's fine if you want to disagree with or insult an idea, but make sure you're actually mocking the idea itself rather than your own distortion of the idea. It's okay if you don't agree with evolution, but the uninformed remark, "If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" only shows your ignorance. If you want to reject Christianity, that's your choice. But first let me tell you what we actually believe before you waste your time arguing your case against a straw-man you've constructed based on a few encounters with Christians or a misguided quote from Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens.

Tonight I took a few minutes to look into the unfortunately named Holy Spirit Thrift Shop. I may still get a laugh out of the name, but now that I know what's actually happening there I'll have a new appreciation for the store the next time I drive by.

YOU ARE A SOMEBODY

2011-06-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

Satan: You're worthless
God: I stamped you with MY image
Satan: You're a nobody
God: You're my child
Satan: You can't do it
God: Do it
Satan: You're all alone
God: I am with you
Satan: You're unlovable
God: I love you

YOU ARE A SOMEBODY

Suffering or Redemption?

2011-05-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

Enemies. Would you rather watch them suffer or watch God redeem them?

“A new thought occurred to [Mrs. May]: suppose Mr. Greenleaf had aroused the bull chunking stones at him and the animal had turned on him and run him up against a tree and gored him? The irony of it deepened: O.T. and E.T. would then get a shyster lawyer and sue her. It would be the fitting end to her fifteen years with the Greenleafs. She thought of it almost with pleasure as if she had hit on the perfect ending for a story she was telling her friends.”

-Flannery O'Connor's "Greenleaf"

People with excessive self-pity and victim thinking expose the end of my grace and mercy. I know people who take this sort of pleasure in misery, and they drain every ounce of love and patience out of me. Before I understood that the bull in O’Connor’s “Greenleaf” was a Christ-type wooing Mrs. May, I was actually pleased when the it charged at her and gored her through the heart. The fact that I was disappointed at the notion that the bull may have been a form of salvation for her made me realize my sinful attitude: I had more satisfaction in the thought of her suffering than the thought of her redemption. I’m ashamed by my heart condition, but I’m glad that I am now aware of this weakness. I’m thankful that “He’s still workin’ on me” because there is a lot of work to do.

The Curse of "Y"

2011-05-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

“It’s perfectly simple.”

-Hemingway in “Hills Like White Elephants”

The man in “Hills Like White Elephants” is frustratingly simple-minded. He demonstrates no understanding of what his quasi-girlfriend is experiencing internally as they discuss the possibility of aborting their recently conceived baby. He is unable to look outside his own perspective. This theme of the idiocy and selfishness of males is also the typical representation provided in most sitcoms on television today. I wonder if this stereotype perpetuates the problem. What would happen if, instead of constantly demeaning men and portraying them in a negative light, media and literature painted even just a few pictures of what a mature, selfless man looks like? What would happen if just one of the popular cartoons on television included an intelligent, competent, loving father? While I hold my breath, I’ll continue being the best father and husband I can be, despite so many voices telling me I’m hopeless simply because I was born with a Y chromosome.

On "Christian Literature"

2011-05-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

“What I want is a literature which should be unconsciously, rather than deliberately and defiantly Christian.”

-T.S. Eliot: “Religion and Literature”

My bookshelves at home are stocked with the kind of books with which churches love to fill their small libraries. During my high school years, Max Lucado was my favorite author because he took the messages I heard in church every week and crafted them in a much more clever and creative way. While I still appreciate Lucado’s writing style, and I have much to learn from it, I have grown tired of playing this Christian game where we all compete to see who can say the same thing everyone else is saying in the wittiest way. Recently, while reading Philip Yancey’s Soul Survivor, I was inspired to look for more literature outside the Christian bookstores. I am now looking forward to reading some of the works of Leo Tolstoy, Feodor Dostoevsky, and Annie Dillard when my Moody work finally slows down. These are writers who are not touted by many Christians, but perhaps they should be.

Faking Righteousness

2011-05-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

This post is the first of a series of journal annotations from this past spring that I will be posting on my blog.

“Hadleyburg was the most honest and upright town in all the region round about. . . . throughout the formative years temptations were kept out of the way of the young people, so that their honesty could have every chance to harden and solidify, and become a part of their very bone” -Mark Twain: “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg”

Hadleyburg is a town to which many Christians in the “Bible Belt” can probably relate. They had all the outward appearances of righteousness, and they sounded their trumpets so that everyone would know just how holy they were. Like the whitewashed tombs of the Pharisees (cf. Matt. 23:27), this town was truly a wreck on the inside. It was not at all their honesty that was hardening and solidifying, but their pride and hypocrisy. The cause of the problem was the town's refusal to let any temptations or trials through its fortified gates. While they thought they were making righteousness, in reality they were only faking righteousness. As James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Without the testing of their virtues, the town of Hadleyburg was lacking quite a bit, especially in what they took most pride: honesty.

So how about you? Where are you at? Are you open to being tested and stretched? Or are you content faking righteousness?

10 Things God Has Been Teaching Me

2011-04-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

At times the past year has been a major challenge for my walk with God, but throughout it has been a joy to learn more about Him and about myself. Here are some things He's been teaching me in the last year (if you want the cliff notes, just skim the headings)...

God is sovereign. His hands are busy at work even in the microscopic details of our lives. I've personally seen this on so many occasions in the last year. Like when I'm preparing to teach students about how we can't force God's hand or manipulate Him... and then my friend Kevin comes to me telling me a story about how for so long he tried to "force God's hand" to make his dream of dropping a hip-hop album come true.
A leader is... (not "a leader does"). The reading and teaching in my leadership classes have been phenomenal this semester. Having the opportunity to interview great leaders was such a blessing! The lesson that has sunk deepest into my heart and mind is simply that growth in leadership is much more a result of character development than skill development.
Variety is the spice of life... and the driving force in the body of Christ. Meeting so many people with such diverse backgrounds, interests, gifts, experiences, and perspectives has been a blast! I'm glad the rest of the world is not like me!
Strengths exposed... Having people tell you you're good at something is always nice. I've had teachers affirm aspects of my writing style, and some students have given me confidence in counseling. Both will be valuable skills in future ministry.
Weaknesses exposed... Having people tell you you're not good at something is not so nice. But it's valuable. Apparently my messages are at times "forgettable." I'm thankful to have a teacher who is strong enough to tell me, so that I can improve. I've been made aware that, socially, I have a lot of "growing up" to do also.
Staying Connected to the Vine... Apparently studying for systematic theology doesn't do a whole lot for your relationship with the Lord. Rationalizing your failure to stay connected to God daily doesn't either. Even though I've learned so much about the Lord during my time at Moody, we have some catching up to do.
Youth ministry philosophy... Throw out the programs altogether. Just spend time with students. Live life together, see where they're at, and then lead them. And don't leave them. Stick around for a while. That would be nice a nice change of pace for students. And they need more than Bible teaching. They need to learn how to survive and thrive in this life. They need to learn how to think, how to take care of their bodies, and how to relate to people. And student ministry is really family ministry. Parents can't be ignored any longer. Now... if we can get these things, then we can bring the programs back. But if we have to chose, I'll take the relationships.
Nothing beats family and old friends... So many family and friends back in Randolph County have been so good to Jamie, Kaden, and me. It's nice to have a place where people are so happy to see you. It's nice to have people who drop their schedules to help you or just hang out with you.
A's at home B's at school/work... My Moody experience has been valuable in teaching me how to keep family a priority. I had to go through a difficult experience in full-time ministry to prepare me for this. I think I'm doing it right this time, and now I'm prepared to step back into ministry without laying my wife and son on the altar.
My wife is amazing... I don't understand how she does everything she does and keeps it together. God must have just wired her that way. It seems that she walks through fire after fire in her life, and she comes out shining every time. That's what my counseling prof calls resilience. I love you babe!

No Darkness AT ALL

2010-09-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

"God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all."

1 John 1:5

No darkness AT ALL... in contrast to men in whom both darkness and light, both good and evil cohabitate. We are images of God marred by the fall. Author Cornelius Plantinga writes, "Creation speaks out of both sides of its mouth now." Reading through the adjectives Plantinga uses to describe mankind reminds us who we are: half-ruined, twisted, polluted, divided, double-minded, split, spoiled, contaminated, shipwrecked, fallen. Our hearts are both "this and that" where good and evil are intertwined and light is overshadowed.

With all of this mess in our hearts and in our world, we can be grateful that there is One who has retained His pure, uncontaminated holiness.

"God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all."1 John 1:5

Summer Time And the Livin' Ain't Easy!

2010-06-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

One day at a time. One page at a time. Keep on shovelin'. [Insert additional self-motivating cliches here]

4 hours of class every day. Lots of reading. 4 weeks straight. No free time. No breaks. No breathing.

Light at the end of the tunnel? Not that I can see.

Next up? Philosophy Independent Study. Then? CLEP test studying. Then? Fall semester.

It's only a season. It will pass. It's only a season. It's only a season. [Insert additional self-motivating cliches here]

Separated?

2010-05-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Lately I've felt convicted about the lack of intimacy I've had with God. Tonight as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I began to repent for the lack of effort on my part. I confessed that I was causing the distance I felt between myself and God. Then I felt led to grab my Bible. "Pick up and read." Hmm... what should I read? "Romans... 8... verse 38." I'm pretty bad with Scripture memory, so I didn't know where God was leading me; I just knew it was a familiar passage. As I reached for my teshuva duck tape Bible, this thought came to me: "No. Grab the Study Bible. You'll want to read the study note."

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
study note on 8:39...
"nor anything else in all creation. Nothing
in the universe is outside God's control; therefore, nothing (including
ourselves) can separate us from His eternal love."

We serve a PERSONAL God! The Holy Spirit counsels us and comforts us according to our personal needs. My lack of effort may have created a feeling of distance between me and God, but NOTHING can separate me from His love. God knows me. He knows my thoughts. He knows my circumstances. He knows what I need to hear. I need to listen. Praise God!

Top 10 Lessons Learned from Moody Spring 2010

2010-05-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

10. I don't know anything about God's Word! I've only seen the tip of the iceberg!
9. Being genuine in your faith is tough when you're around committed Christians all the time. It's easy to start comparing and trying to look more "spiritual" than you are.
8. I'm old. I talk old. I dress old. I smell old. And I have old-man hobbies and interests. My classmates are young. They talk young, dress young, and yes, even smell young!
7. I CAN be used by God despite myself. God has a plan for me, and I can be confident that He will work through me.
6. The adolescent years are NOT the glory years. Puberty, social drama, the dating scene, insecurities... I wouldn't wish it on anyone! (I'm studying youth ministry)
5. The body of Christ is much bigger than our own little worlds! People come from different backgrounds socially, ethnically, geographically, doctrinally, etc. Christ is building a diverse, universal church, and I am a part of it!
4. Knowing about God is not at all the same thing as knowing God. No matter how many hours you spend with your nose in a Bible or a theology book, facts and information aren't an adequate substitute for a relationship with God.
3. God has called us (me) to love people. God has called us (me) to have compassion. He's teaching me how.
2. My wife is amazing! In 18 months, God willing, I will have a piece of paper recognizing my accomplishment of graduating from Moody. It will have been the most challenging feat I've ever pursued. But the sacrifices and accomplishments of my wife Jamie far exceed my own. Pray for her to have strength, and know that she is an amazing woman of God!
1. God provides! Need to sell a house in a bad market? No problem. Need to find a house within 30 miles of Chicago on a meager budget? No problem. Need to find a flexible, decent paying job in a bad economy? No problem. Need strength to make it through each and every day? No problem. God provides!

God is 100%

2010-03-13T04:58:00.000-08:00

God is 100%...

God is 100% Holy... He's not mostly holy. He's holy holy holy!!!! (with an infinite number of "holys" and an infinite number of exclamation points!)
God is 100% Wrathful... He's not bothered by our sin. It's not a nuisance or an irritant. He HATES it!
God is 100% Patient... He's not kinda patient. He's INCOMPREHENSIBLY patient!
God is 100% Kind... He's not eh... pretty kind. He's kind beyond measure!
God is 100% Forgiving... He's not mostly forgiving. He's TOTALLY forgiving!
God is 100% Faithful... He's not usually mostly faithful. He's ALWAYS TOTALLY faithful!
God is 100% Loving... He doesn't tell us, "Love ya." He tell us, "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!" (with any infinite amount of exclamation points!)
God is 100% Joyful... He's not sort of glad to have us around. He's utterly THRILLED that we are His children! (to the point that HE dances over US!)

God is 100%...

Maybe that's why He hates it when we're sort of holy, sort of upset by sin, sort of patient, sort of kind, sort of forgiving, sort of faithful, sort of loving, sort of joyful. Maybe that's why our lukewarmness makes Him sick.

God is 100%.

Let Him work in your life. Walk with Him. He's taking you on a journey toward 100%. And the work will be 100% complete when Christ returns! That's 100% flippin sweet!

From the Inside out

2010-02-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Hillsong United. United We Stand. From the Inside Out. 2006

Spiritual Gifts Tests Are for the Birds---

2010-02-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

At least that's how I feel at the moment. Yes, I know I'm an analytical introvert. Thanks for reminding me personality inventory. Yes, I know my gifts/talents/abilities/personality don't scream "YOUTH PASTOR!!" Thanks again for reminding me spiritual gifts test. I'm supposed to be a secretary or a deacon or something like that, right? Hmph. Right. I'll file that one in the back of my mind. The very back. Because despite what all the wonderful tests say, God has been whispering "youth pastor" for quite some time now.

I bet Moses would have loved the spiritual gifts test. He could have taken the results to God and said, "See? I told you." But he didn't have the test. They weren't as "wise" or "educated" as us back then, so he followed God's lead anyway. And he led. Now God is pointing people like me to Moses, and He's saying, "See? I told you."

Awesome Visit Home!!

2010-01-31T19:48:00.000-08:00

This has been one of the better weekends of my life! Hannah and Sarah bday party Saturday afternoon. Candlelight dinner date with Jim and Tiffany saturday night (thank you SOOO much!!!). Worshiping at The Branches sunday morning (good to be back with church family! Good to be a part of such authentic corporate worship!). Lunch and rock band with the fam this afternoon (not afraid to bust out the falsetto!). A good visit to UC with fam (fun watching mama play with Kaden). Capped off with one of the best youth group nights in the history of youth group nights! (made it in time to sing worship with the teens for the first time! leaping over/through memory foam onto a love sack. playin a little ping pong and pool. 2 truths & a lie. pelting pink with hundreds of yellow plastic balls. lots of hugs. and just a good time!) Now just hanging out and chatting with Jme. And tomorrow holds a lot of promise too: coffee cake for breakfast, lunch with family, and a 3 1/2 hour drive home which gives Jme and I some down time to just chat! AWESOME weekend!

Family, friends, church family, Teshuva family... we love you guys and miss you! Thanks for a great weekend!!

Am I Working or Worshiping?

2010-01-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

"God is definitely more concerned that He has worshipers than that He has workers. Unfortunately, most evangelicals do not share this concern. For the most part, evangelicals have been reduced to the position where God is a supervisor desperately seeking help. Standing at the wayside, He tries to find how many helpers will come to His rescue and bail Him out of a tight spot. We mistakenly believe that God needs workers, and so we cheerfully say, ‘I’ll go to work for the Lord.’ If we could only remember that as far as His plans are concerned, God does not need us."
-A.W. Tozer

This isn't a "build you up" post. It's a "build God up" post. It's a "tear you down" post. It's a "He must increase I must decrease" post. God does not need you. He does not need me. He does not need workers. Worship God. Then He'll work through you.

In Broken Glass: He Reigns

2010-01-29T05:33:00.000-08:00

As I sat in a pile of broken glass on my way to the train station this morning, the Newsboys were ringing out, "It's all God's children singing 'Glory! Glory! Hallelujah He reigns!' ... And all the powers of darkness tremble at what they just heard! Cause all the power of darkness can't drown out a single word!" Like the powers of darkness that led someone to break into my truck last night. Those powers of darkness... they're terrified of God's glory and reign. So even as I sat in broken glass this morning, God reminded me that He reigns.

Thankfully I still had a truck to get me to the station this morning. And thankfully I didn't have anything valuable in the truck; not even a quarter. The would-be thief must have been disappointed when he reached into my coin compartment and found nothing but these coin tracts:

Wow... when I think of it that way... [pat on the back] look how great of a Christian I am! I even evangelize in my sleep! (riiiiiiight... those coins had been sitting there collecting dust for three years. I had no plan to ever use them. Kinda cool that God did.)

Now... where can I find some plastic to cover up that big hole in the back of my truck?

"It's all God's children singing 'Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! He reigns!'"

By Our Love

2010-01-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

My wife Jme and I have been exploring Northwest Indiana for a church to plug into for the past several weeks. It's really not a fun process. How do you decide? We've met some really cool people who love the Lord, and now we're trusting that God's hand will land us wherever He wills. It's encouraging that our decision is being made more difficult because so many people have already extended their hands in friendship and love! When God's love pours into and then out of His people, that's a good thing. That's how you can tell. It's the Christian's litmus test. By our love. By our love. By our love.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (Jn 13:35)

Unstoppable: God Wins

2010-01-14T07:13:00.000-08:00

Laban & Bethuel

Back in the day, it just wasn't cool to be an old, stale, single man without a son to carry on your family line. Besides, God had promised Abe his offspring would be as numerous as the stars. So when his unmarried son Isaac started getting a little stale, Abe sent his servant off to find a wife. After meeting up with Rebekah through a God-ordained encounter, the servant went with her to get the OK from her dad (Bethuel). Naturally she had a over-protective big bro (Laban) that wanted to hear the scoop too, so the servant shared how God led him to Rebekah. Their response shows that these two guys got it:

Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is totally from God. We have no say in the
matter, either yes or no. Rebekah is yours: Take her and go; let her be the wife
of your master's son, as God has made plain." (Ge 24:50-51 The Message)

God ordained it. They certainly weren't going to waste efforts trying to stop the marriage. Laban & Bethuel got it.

Gamaliel

After Pentecost, the apostles were on fire preaching for God. Shortly into their evangelistic ministry they were thrown in to prison, but God sent an angel who freed them. The next day they when the guards got up, they found some empty cells. They also found that the apostles had picked up right where they left off: preaching in Jesus' name and reminding the Jews that they put the Christ, the Son of God, to death. This only angered the Jews more; they were ready to kill these men of God until Gamaliel stepped in:

Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God. (Acts 5:38-39 NIV)

Gamaliel got it. If it's God's will, it's unstoppable! What about you? Do you get it? Got a calling on your life? Got a task God has placed in your heart and mind? Don't fear, don't waver, don't run. If it's from God, what can we say? Get out of God's way, and let His will run its course. You don't want to find yourselves fighting against God because you'll lose. Which means God wins. No matter what. And that's a good thing!

Dear Chicago

2010-01-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

I know I may be moving a little fast, but I think I love you!

Good Soil

2010-01-09T15:40:00.000-08:00

In the parable of the sower, Jesus teaches about the many soils of the heart. Some soil is too exposed to the dangers of this world and some is just too shallow. Then there's the good soil. Jesus says that this soil yields 30, 60 or even 100 times what was sown! God desires us to have hearts teeming with good soil. If you're desire is the same, there are a variety of actions you can take to accomplish your goal: spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible study, worship, fellowship and serving, for example, will add necessary nutrients to your heart's soil. There are times, however, when it's not our own efforts that produce good soil. God can harden and soften a man's heart as He sees fit (see Exodus 4:21 and 7:3 for an example).

The move to Hammond has been challenging and exciting. Leaving family (including our church family), leaving that nice little life, leaving everything that was familiar... to arrive in a world that's foreign: train rides and busy streets; no trees and no corn; new friends, new church, new work, new budget, new schedule. It's a daily whirlwind of adjustments, but I can already see God using my new circumstances to infuse necessary nutrients in areas of rocky soil. God is faithful. I'm just glad to be a part of His preparatory work in my life, and I'm looking forward to letting Him sow some crops through me!

I Am an "S"

2009-12-30T21:13:00.000-08:00

I am an S.
I am an S-U.
I am an S-U-B-U-R-B-I-A-N.

And I have S-U-B-U-R-B in my H-E-A-R-T,
And I will L-I-V-E-I-N-H-A-M-M-O-N-D!

Moving to Chicago: "Go. Now."

2009-11-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Walking with God is personal, but it's something we do with fellow Christians as well. We're walking with God with one another. God has spoken to me through the people around me more than He has through any other means.

Back in June, shortly after I sensed God telling me to "Go" to Moody in Chicago, I started asking God the next question: "When?" And I was pretty sure that God's response was, "Now." Go. Now. I know that Jesus said His sheep hear His voice, but sometimes I doubt. I don't doubt that God can speak to His people. Not at all. I doubt that God will speak to me. And I trust God... I just don't trust myself to hear Him. Too many selfish agendas muffling and distorting His voice. Thankfully we're walking with God with one another. So I called a friend and filled Him in on what I'd been praying about... without giving him the details. I asked him to get back to me and let me know if he was hearing God with any clarity. A couple days later he called me and said, "I feel like God is saying, 'Go now.'" Go. Now. Hmmmm... It's almost like I've heard that somewhere before...

Moving to Chicago: Wise in My Eyes

2009-11-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

John Eldridge writes that part of walking with God is reading Scripture intimately, not just intellectually. Every now and then we need to drop our programs and ask, "God, what do you want me to read tonight?" Sometimes you'll be led immediately to a passage. Other times you'll draw a blank. But this particular night, God led me to Proverbs 3:7.

Don't be wise in your own eyes,
fear the Lord and shun evil.

Huh? Ok... so I meditated on this verse for a few days wondering what in the world God was getting at. Then I decided to read the verse in context. Turns out it's predecessor is among the most familiar verses in the Bible:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

Don't be wise in your own eyes... when you zoom the lens out just a tad, the picture becomes more revealing. Who am I going to trust? That's the real issue here. God could have gotten straight to the point and led me to 3:5-6, but I needed a warning. Don't be wise in your own eyes.

I'm a "figure it out" sort of guy. Lists, charts, equations, formulas... where would I be with out them? Weigh the pros and cons, and the balance will reveal the answer. Punch in the numbers, and you'll find the solution. What other way is there? Don't be wise in your own eyes. What other way is there? Trust in the Lord with all your heart...

Ok God... now I see. My wisdom isn't yours. Help me to seek and follow yours and suppress my own. If my family is moving to Chicago, there are a lot of things that have to be worked out. Matriculation (my new favorite word), housing, jobs, childcare, finding a new church home... I can either figure it out myself (be wise in my own eyes) or I can trust God with it.

Moving to Chicago: White Knuckles

2009-11-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

Walking with God... exciting... just be ready for your world to be totally flipped.

God knows what turns our knuckles white. He knows exactly what it is that you and I are gripping so tightly. Our wallets. Our jobs. Cars. Homes. Golf clubs. Entertainment. Comfort. Power... Property. 3.3 acres across from Driver Middle School to be specific. God, you can use me annnnyway you like, but let me show you the property boundaries first.

One of the things I'll miss most about 285 S 100 E is the mowing. Throw on my Husqvarna headphones, put some RK on my ipod, sit back and follow the fresh-cut lines created by my Toro Wheelhorse. My escape.

I was in the middle of one of these escapes back in June when God got my attention. By this time I'd had a week or so to process the layoff. God often uses these desperate times to shake us out of our slumber. I was sitting on my 20hp rider when I began praying this prayer. Be careful what you pray. Be even more careful if you mean it! God knows what turns our knuckles white.

"God what do you want me to do now?"

"You already know," was His answer.

I'm very skeptical when people say, "God said," and I don't say it myself very often. But in this case, I'm just sayin', "God said."

"You already know."

"I already know what?"

After a few more passes on the rider, I knew what I already knew. Youth ministry. Moody. The two most sure callings in my life. I can run but I can't hide. They've chased me down every alley and around every corner. God was right. I already knew. But just in case... "God, do you want me to go to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and study youth ministry?"

"Go."

Go... go means leaving. Leaving family. Friends. Ministries. Familiarity. The property.

Be careful what you pray. God knows exactly what turns our knuckles white.

Moving to Chicago: Walking with God

2009-11-05T21:25:00.001-08:00

"It's really a red pill - blue pill moment." At least that's what a good friend told me about John Eldredge's Walking with God. I had no idea what he was talking about because I couldn't get past the whole, "Jesus found my watch" story (You'd have to read the book or listen to the CDs to know what I'm talking about... aka "You have to read this book! It will change your life! ;o)).

What a terrible attitude! Satan was completely stealing any joy or motivation I could possibly find through these CDs, and I didn't even realize it. At least not at first. But when I did, I found that my good friend was right. It really was a red pill - blue pill moment. Walking with God. Daily. I knew this was going to be an exciting new adventure!!

Moving to Chicago: The Layoff

2009-11-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

"You've got to listen to these CD's," Brent told me. So I did. Popped one in the next day at work, but I didn't get very far into it before my bosses called me into their office. Laid off. That was their message. The work well had been dry for a while. I was the only employee left to cut, and they did everything they could to keep me on as long as they could... I still appreciate their sacrifices to this day. But still. Laid off. It's one of those things you can see coming, and you can try to prepare yourself for it mentally, emotionally, financially... but you're never really prepared. Like the passing of a great-grandparent. There's that hopeful part in us that always says, "It's not going to happen. Not yet. Not now. Not to me." Laid off. Now what?!? In the mean time, I've got a few weeks at the office to tie up some loose ends. Won't be long before I have all the time in the world to listen to those CD's. Thanks Brent.

Moving to Chicago: Jeez Friggin Louise

2009-09-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

I hate audio books. Give me a highlighter and a hardback, and I'm golden. Never been a fan of friends and family bringing books to me either.

"You have to read this! It changed my life!"

Seriously, that's great, but have you seen my stack of "books to be read" on my nightstand? Brent Smith, a good friend in my growth group, hadn't. Not only did he offer me another book to read, it was an audio book (There are several different ways you can spell the sound of hurling... insert one here). Even though I wasn't thrilled about listening to John Eldridge's "Walking with God", something in me said I should give it a shot the next day.

Moving to Chicago: On Hold

2009-09-18T19:14:00.001-07:00

Not the move itself. Just the story behind it. Actually the story is continuing to unfold, and the current stage is pretty exhausting-slash-overwhelming. I'm excited to put in writing all of the amazing things God has done in the past few months (and is still doing)!! Stay tuned!

Moving to Chicago?!?

2009-09-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

Some time soon you may hear that Jamie and I are moving up toward Chicago. 'Tis true. As a friend you may want to have me admitted to an institute, but no need. I'm not crazy, but I have already applied for admission to an institute.

In short, I'm following God with this move. In long... well, check back over the next few days.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

2009-09-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am!

The Bickering Church

2009-09-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight my anger has brought me back to this dormant blog of mine. Please excuse me for a moment while I reawaken the right side of my brain (you know, the half they say is responsible for creativity).

Me: WAKE UP ya lazy bum!
Right Side of Brain: Just a few more minutes of sleep!
Me: Come on! Get out of bed! I have something I need you to help me say!
Right Side of Brain: But I'm a brain. I can't talk.
Me: Yeah. Good point.
Right Side of Brain: I'm going back to bed.
Me: Wait a second... now I'm confused...

Looks like I'll have to share my message uncreatively. Let's see...

Hey church: stop bickering!
Hey world: sorry we didn't have time to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with you tonight. We were distracted by really important things like changing our church name and redistributing power.

There. I think that will do.

Christian or Deist?

2009-08-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

So you say you believe in God... but are you a Christian or a deist?

Christian... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...Deist

God created everything... ...God created everything

God came to us... ... ... ... ... ...God stepped back

God is near... ... ... ... ... ... ... God is distant

God is a participant... ... ... ... ... God is an observer

God is personal... ... ... ... ...God is unapproachable

God loves us... ... ... ... ...God couldn't care less

Refreshing Honesty

2009-08-06T20:33:00.001-07:00

I spent a few hours with an old friend tonight. Jim has been a spiritual hero to me since I was 18. One of the most impressive things about Jim is his honesty. He tells it like it is; he's an open book. Tonight I asked him to fill out a character reference for me, and he came right out and told me my weaknesses. "You lack self-confidence, and you're not assertive." True. And somehow he says it in a way that's not hurtful. "You know I'm not going to give you the highest marks on everything, right? Because then this reference would be pointless." He went on to share some of my strengths as well. Then later, "You're a good writer Bryan. My son-in-law has good writing skills too... they exceed yours." [lol!!] Now that's refreshing honesty!

Why is it that this sort of honesty is so rare? I imagine chatting with one of the apostles would have been similar. Brutal but loving truth shared in a way that builds and motivates rather than tearing down. Thanks for another refreshing evening Jim :o)

Pink Bleeds Love

2009-07-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday night some time around 5:00 and 7:30, James Pinkerton, aka Pink, reminds the Teshuva youth that they have to let God bleed His love on them, so they can let it pour out and bleed love on others. One of the biggest complaints I hear from non-Christians is hypocrisy. Let me just say, if you ever meet Pastor Pink, you'll find out pretty quickly that the man bleeds love. He's a man who can truly say, "Follow me as I follow Christ." Pink, thanks for loving God. You rock!

Waiting: On Hold

2009-07-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more boring/annoying than being on hold? Waiting... waiting... waiting... You have issues to resolve, and you're stuck with the cell sitting on your desk on speakerphone, and you're waiting for someone to pick up your line and finally begin the painful process of getting an answer.

Waiting... waiting... waiting...

My life is on hold right now. I know what the problem is, and I know what the answer is, but I'm still stuck here waiting. Come on customer service. Pick up, work your magic, and we'll be done with it. Then I can continue on with my crazy life! Being on hold is annoying. Boring. Frustrating. Transforming. Wait, what?!? Transforming? Ok that's a stretch. It usually isn't, but it can be.

Wait for it... wait for it...

w a i t
f o r
i t
. . .

"Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him." (Psalm 37:7)
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." (Romans 8:25)

Wait.

Patiently.

Random

2009-07-16T18:11:00.001-07:00

A few random thoughts while Kaden sprints back and forth from the kitchen to the office...

Jamie's home! Jamie's home!! Jamie's home!!!
Jamie does a lot of "little" things around the house. Her three-day work trips are good for me; I learn to appreciate the not-so-little little things she does
If rental companies were smart, to anyone renting a stump grinder they would offer a package that included a masseuse for an additional $100
I could really go for a massage about now
God answers prayer
Kaden is hilarious
Summer of Doom bonfire at the Vickery's tomorrow night!!

Listen!!!

2009-07-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

"God, speak to me. I want to hear your voice. Give me guidance. Give me direction. I believe you want to communicate with your people. Speak to me, God."

I began repeating this prayer about six weeks ago. I'd hate to see the wax on the Q-tip God used to open up my ears. Must've been pretty nasty. But He's speaking to me now and directing me through His Word, radio stations, sermons, friends and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Many of my encounters with God in the past month have been so clearly Him, that they would fit perfectly into the plot of a cheesy Christian movie. Even now, as I think about these experiences, I have to pinch myself... make sure I'm not going to wake up from this fairytale. I'm wondering how long God has been trying to speak to me... if my ears have just been closed this whole time...

God is speaking to me. He answered my prayer, and He has revealed Himself to me more personally than ever. That's the awesome part.

Then there's the scary part. I'm not sure I want to hear what He's had to say. I feel like the crowd following Jesus when He spoke about eating His flesh and drinking His blood. "Man, this teaching is tough to accept." Most people leave when God starts this sort of crazy talk. And now I'm in a place where I'm being asked, "What? Are you gonna ditch me too?" ... ... ... "Where else could I go, Lord?" ... that should be my response. Instead, this: "But what if... ? God, have you thought about this... ? Are you sure?"
I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. (John 10:1-4)

My hesitation frustrates me... one DUMB sheep! That's me! Abraham didn't hesitate. God saw his faith and chalked one up for righteousness.

God, increase our trust in you each day. Thank you for going on ahead of us. Thank you for speaking to us. Open our ears that we may hear you. Strengthen our will that we may follow you. Amen.

Kaden Tricks

2009-07-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

I love being a daddy. While my 15-month-old son Kaden and I are missing mommy very much (she's working in DC for a few days), we had a blast together today. He taught me two new tricks. In his first trick, Kaden got in a deep squat, stuck his head about 12 inches in front of his feet and waddled around the room chasing after Bandit, our Jack Russel. He learned a second new trick today when he realized that the bushy little lines of hair directly above his eyesockets can move. He would raise his eyebrows, widen his eyes, stretch out his bottom lip (exposing his bottom teeth), extend his neck upward, then laugh and repeat. It may have been the funniest thing I've ever seen!

onedumbsheep Returns

2009-07-12T19:44:00.000-07:00

"'Return to me, and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty" ~ Malachi 3:7

I'm baaaaaaaack! Haha! Watchoo gonna do now?

Less importantly, I've returned to blogging. Who knows how long it will stick, and who cares if anyone is listening, but I'm back. Ok... I care... at least a little. I care about publicly sharing my walk with God. I care about encouraging anyone who stumbles on this blog with God's Word. I care about following God's leading. I care about allowing God to awaken and sharpen my creativity through writing. But I don't care about having a following or impressing anyone.

More importantly, I've returned to God. I've done a 180. I've repented. I've told God, "Whatever. Whenever. Wherever. Talk to me." And He's answered as loud and clear as ever. He's rejuvenated me, and now I'm on a mission. Not a mission to accomplish. Not a mission to do. A mission to be. A mission to follow. A mission to simply walk with God. A mission to trust His leading.

John 10. If you're familiar with the Bible, you're familiar with the passage. But maybe you haven't really thought about this part. Jesus, the Good Shepherd, goes on ahead of you. Have you ever thought about that? You've been given visuals of walking alongside Jesus or being carried by Him (ie, footprints in the sand), both encouraging at times, but have you ever thought about Him going on ahead of you? Knowing He's your guide and He's preparing the way for you should make the whole following thing a lot easier. How comforting is it to know that the God of the universe goes on ahead of us?!?

So I'm back. I've returned. And He's held up His end of the bargain too.

God's Glory

2009-07-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

To God be the glory.

It starts here.

It ends here.

Nothing we can say, do or think about is more important than this.

I hope my words reflect it. I hope my life reflects it. And when they don't, when it doesn't, I hope God puts me back into my place. He's the sun; the giver of light. I'm the moon; the reflector of His light. It's all about Him. It's not about me.

To God be the glory.