Moving to Chicago: "Go. Now."

Walking with God is personal, but it's something we do with fellow Christians as well. We're walking with God with one another. God has spoken to me through the people around me more than He has through any other means.

Back in June, shortly after I sensed God telling me to "Go" to Moody in Chicago, I started asking God the next question: "When?" And I was pretty sure that God's response was, "Now." Go. Now. I know that Jesus said His sheep hear His voice, but sometimes I doubt. I don't doubt that God can speak to His people. Not at all. I doubt that God will speak to me. And I trust God... I just don't trust myself to hear Him. Too many selfish agendas muffling and distorting His voice. Thankfully we're walking with God with one another. So I called a friend and filled Him in on what I'd been praying about... without giving him the details. I asked him to get back to me and let me know if he was hearing God with any clarity. A couple days later he called me and said, "I feel like God is saying, 'Go now.'" Go. Now. Hmmmm... It's almost like I've heard that somewhere before...

Moving to Chicago: Wise in My Eyes

John Eldridge writes that part of walking with God is reading Scripture intimately, not just intellectually. Every now and then we need to drop our programs and ask, "God, what do you want me to read tonight?" Sometimes you'll be led immediately to a passage. Other times you'll draw a blank. But this particular night, God led me to Proverbs 3:7.

Don't be wise in your own eyes,
fear the Lord and shun evil.

Huh? Ok... so I meditated on this verse for a few days wondering what in the world God was getting at. Then I decided to read the verse in context. Turns out it's predecessor is among the most familiar verses in the Bible:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

Don't be wise in your own eyes... when you zoom the lens out just a tad, the picture becomes more revealing. Who am I going to trust? That's the real issue here. God could have gotten straight to the point and led me to 3:5-6, but I needed a warning. Don't be wise in your own eyes.

I'm a "figure it out" sort of guy. Lists, charts, equations, formulas... where would I be with out them? Weigh the pros and cons, and the balance will reveal the answer. Punch in the numbers, and you'll find the solution. What other way is there? Don't be wise in your own eyes. What other way is there? Trust in the Lord with all your heart...

Ok God... now I see. My wisdom isn't yours. Help me to seek and follow yours and suppress my own. If my family is moving to Chicago, there are a lot of things that have to be worked out. Matriculation (my new favorite word), housing, jobs, childcare, finding a new church home... I can either figure it out myself (be wise in my own eyes) or I can trust God with it.

Moving to Chicago: White Knuckles

Walking with God... exciting... just be ready for your world to be totally flipped.

God knows what turns our knuckles white. He knows exactly what it is that you and I are gripping so tightly. Our wallets. Our jobs. Cars. Homes. Golf clubs. Entertainment. Comfort. Power... Property. 3.3 acres across from Driver Middle School to be specific. God, you can use me annnnyway you like, but let me show you the property boundaries first.

One of the things I'll miss most about 285 S 100 E is the mowing. Throw on my Husqvarna headphones, put some RK on my ipod, sit back and follow the fresh-cut lines created by my Toro Wheelhorse. My escape.

I was in the middle of one of these escapes back in June when God got my attention. By this time I'd had a week or so to process the layoff. God often uses these desperate times to shake us out of our slumber. I was sitting on my 20hp rider when I began praying this prayer. Be careful what you pray. Be even more careful if you mean it! God knows what turns our knuckles white.

"God what do you want me to do now?"

"You already know," was His answer.

I'm very skeptical when people say, "God said," and I don't say it myself very often. But in this case, I'm just sayin', "God said."

"You already know."


"I already know what?"

After a few more passes on the rider, I knew what I already knew. Youth ministry. Moody. The two most sure callings in my life. I can run but I can't hide. They've chased me down every alley and around every corner. God was right. I already knew. But just in case... "God, do you want me to go to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and study youth ministry?"

"Go."

Go... go means leaving. Leaving family. Friends. Ministries. Familiarity. The property.

Be careful what you pray. God knows exactly what turns our knuckles white.

Moving to Chicago: Walking with God

"It's really a red pill - blue pill moment." At least that's what a good friend told me about John Eldredge's Walking with God. I had no idea what he was talking about because I couldn't get past the whole, "Jesus found my watch" story (You'd have to read the book or listen to the CDs to know what I'm talking about... aka "You have to read this book! It will change your life! ;o)).

What a terrible attitude! Satan was completely stealing any joy or motivation I could possibly find through these CDs, and I didn't even realize it. At least not at first. But when I did, I found that my good friend was right. It really was a red pill - blue pill moment. Walking with God. Daily. I knew this was going to be an exciting new adventure!!

Moving to Chicago: The Layoff

"You've got to listen to these CD's," Brent told me. So I did. Popped one in the next day at work, but I didn't get very far into it before my bosses called me into their office. Laid off. That was their message. The work well had been dry for a while. I was the only employee left to cut, and they did everything they could to keep me on as long as they could... I still appreciate their sacrifices to this day. But still. Laid off. It's one of those things you can see coming, and you can try to prepare yourself for it mentally, emotionally, financially... but you're never really prepared. Like the passing of a great-grandparent. There's that hopeful part in us that always says, "It's not going to happen. Not yet. Not now. Not to me." Laid off. Now what?!? In the mean time, I've got a few weeks at the office to tie up some loose ends. Won't be long before I have all the time in the world to listen to those CD's. Thanks Brent.