The Perfect Christmas

If you could hire a "Christmas designer" to design the perfect Christmas, what would it look like? White snow? Glowing friends and family filling a large room with love and laughter? A tasty, juicy ham injected with pineapple or coke? Loved ones praising you for picking the perfect gift? A black Lexus with a big red ribbon wrapped around it? What does your perfect Christmas look like?

Actually, there was only one perfect Christmas, and it took God (not a "Christmas designer" or "super-mom") to pull it off. And even still, the perfect Christmas wasn't so perfect by our standards. Actually the perfect Christmas sounds a lot more like a typical Christmas for busy moms and dads. Travel through not-so-perfect weather and a day refusing to go according to the ideal plan. Exhaustion, frustration, and messiness. And THIS was the perfect Christmas. And I don't know for sure, but I think Mary would have agreed. Why? Because she wasn't aiming for just the right present for Joseph. She wasn't aiming for the perfect meal or a spotlessly clean home. She wasn't aiming for anything but the presence of Jesus.

By those standards, maybe you've had a lot more close-to-perfect Christmases than you think. Sure the green bean casserole didn't turn out just like you planned; no, you didn't get that gift you were hoping for; and yes, you're absolutely worn out by all the busyness. But when all the excessive expectations are stripped away, and when squint your eyes and look beyond the dense forest of commercialism, you'll find that this Christmas, like every other Christmas is one more reminder of that one perfect Christmas celebrated by Mary, Joseph, and a few strangers so long ago. A day to remember that day in history when God humbly invaded our story.

So raise the bar for your expectations this Christmas. Snow, family, smiles, gifts, love, laughter, and good cooking may be a part of it too, but I hope that you're expecting more. I hope you're expecting an awareness God's presence and gifts like peace, love, and hope that He brings each year as you remember Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Only for a Season

It's only for a season. That's what I told myself while I was in the midst of my third all-nighter in two weeks to finish another paper for school.

It's only for a season. That's what came to mind when I discovered my truck had been broken into again.

It's only for a season. That's what I reminded myself every time I sat at the traffic lights for ten minutes in front of Kohl's in Highland.


It's only for a season. That's what I thought when I had to turn down yet another invitation to hang out with the guys on campus at Moody.

It's only for a season. It's only for a season. It's only for a season. I kept reminding myself. I never let myself forget. It's only for a season.

The season I've been referring to for the last two years is coming to an abrupt end. And I'm terribly sad about it. The season I just couldn't wait to get through, the season I was just praying to survive, has turned out to be the best yet. As I look back at the last two years, I have so much to thank and praise God for.

The season of worshiping with what has become my family at Crossroads is coming to an end. Thank You God for placing these wonderful people in my life! Thank You especially for the leadership and wisdom Drew Brown has poured into my life. Thank You for the opportunity Kris Vos and Road Crew gave me to serve at Crossroads. Thank You for placing caring people like Joan Buss and Tiffany Nottingham in my path. Thank You for this season at Crossroads. I wish it didn't have to end.

The season of ministering to and with the awesome students of Brickhouse is coming to an end. Thank You God for showing me what it means to simply love You and love students. Thank You for an endless list of great memories with students. Thank You for allowing me to watch you change students' lives. Thank You for allowing me to see such an amazing team of volunteer adult leaders who give their time, talents, and energy every week in Your name. Thank You for the Fight Club guys, for the fun we had and the challenges we overcame. Thank You for showing me You can use a quiet, thoughtful, and just-plain-weird guy like myself. Thank You for this season at Brickhouse. I wish it didn't have to end.

The season of studying at Moody Bible Institute is coming to an end. Thank You God for teaching me more about You! Thank You for allowing me to explore my gifts in ministry, especially writing and counseling. Thank You for placing Mitch Tabla in my path at orientation and for the friendship we developed over two years. Thank You for bringing Matt Seaver into my life... chainsaw, beard, and all! Thank You for Ian Stewart and the time we were able to spend getting to know each other and praying for each other this past semester. Thank You for exposing me to great professors like Dr. Finkbeiner and Mrs. Smith, who humbly and lovingly teach with excellence. Thank You for revealing Yourself to me in real, tangible ways every day as You coordinated my studies with my experiences.

It was only for a season. Praise GOD for this season of my life!

Moody, Crossroads, and Brickhouse, you made this a season I'll never forget!

Providence and Prayer

When God moved my family to Chicago, I wasn't sure what He had in store for me. I guessed, "Maybe He's bringing me here to fill the Bible gaps in my brain. Or maybe He's planning to give me a little better theoretical understanding of what ministry is all about. Or it could be that He just wants me to learn something more about myself." In my time up north, He has accomplished all of these things, but I'm convinced He had a broader purpose in bringing me here. In the months and years prior to moving from that small, rural community in East Central Indiana, this was a regular prayer of mine: "Father, open my eyes, and help me to see your hand at work in my life and in the world around me."

Divine providence. That's what they call it in the classroom where I read all about it and wrote essays on it. Having a little book knowledge about providence is helpful, but God allowing me to witness it and experience it is what has really shaped me and my view of Him. Seeing Him work has softened me. Seeing Him work has created in me a spirit of humility, thanksgiving, and praise. God is more active in our lives and in the world than we will ever know. In His divine providence, God has spent the last 20 months teaching me about... His providence. And about prayer.

Bible knowledge is pretty important for a pastor. We get that. Of course it is! There's nothing more important, right? We have to be prepared to handle the Word of God with care, accuracy, and reverence. Preaching and teaching is what pastors do. At least that's the thing we see them doing every week when the spotlight is shining brightly on him and his mic is amped up. What we don't see are the hours of prayer for the needs of the congregation. The prayers asking for guidance. The prayers seeking wisdom. The prayers just resting in His presence and nurturing a love relationship. Prayer is what shapes the pastor's heart and vision. Without prayer, the Bible feels stale. And so does the pastor's teaching. So it shouldn't be any surprise to me that God has taught me as much about prayer in the last 20 months as He has about the Bible.

It has been interesting how providence and prayer have intersected and interacted in my life. I'm currently reading Richard Foster's Prayer. Yesterday, I sat down to read a chapter and thought, "This has been one of the most relaxing, restful days I've had in several months." I sat for a few minutes watching a storm roll in and listening to the rain. Ahhhhh. When I opened my book to chapter 9 and read the title "The Prayer of Rest," I wasn't surprised that God, in His providence, had me reading about this topic on this day at this time. God's divine fingerprints were all over this one.

"Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matt. 11:28-29)

I'm so thankful for what God is teaching me, and I'm eager to see what He does next. What is He going to teach me? How is He going to shape me? Whose heart is He preparing to hear the Gospel? What is He doing in the hearts and minds of this generation of believers? Where is He taking us?

God is good.

Entertaining Burnette

I wasn't planning on taking the 2:35 train out of Millennium Station today, but I forgot my study materials, so there was no reason for me to stay on campus. As I entered the first car, I performed my usual ritual of perusing the passengers to determine who I should sit next to in order to maximize my study time. In other words, who is least likely to BUG me?

Oooohh... this one looks promising. A middle-aged African American woman was already engaged in reading what appeared to be a work-related memo. I settled down, turned my Bible to the third chapter in Hosea, and tried to begin meditating on this remarkable picture of God's love. But my brain wasn't cooperating. "You know, it's no coincidence you're sitting here on this train at this time in this seat by this woman," my brain randomly communicated. "Maybe you should try talking to her." Maybe I should. I wonder what she's reading. That's always a good conversation starter. I glanced over and saw the Salvation Army logo at the top of her document. Hmmm. It would be pretty easy to strike up a conversation about that... but I have so much reading to get done. And Hosea is one of my favorite books. It's only a 50-minute train ride. Maybe I can get through all 14 chapters. I refocused.

Then a nudge came from the woman sitting next to me. "Excuse me. What are you reading?"
"Hosea," I said.
"What's that? What do you mean 'Hosea?'"
"It's my Bible. I'm reading Hosea."
"And what's that mean to you?"
"It's a love story. It's a story about God's relationship with Israel, but even more, it's a story about me. It's a story about my relationship with God, my unfaithfulness, and his loving kindness to forgive and bring me back to him."

And that was how my conversation with Burnette began. For the next 40 minutes, she spoke passionately and eloquently of the loving God whom we both serve. At one point during our conversation, I literally thought to myself, "Is it possible that this beautiful Christian woman is actually an angel from God?" I struggled to recall the verse that speaks about "entertaining angels" (then my ADD mind took me to a DC Talk song titled after this verse before bringing me back to my original thought... what is that verse... Hmmm... anyway...). Burnette's joy, humility, passion, and love were infectious. She was a light. She recalled Scripture like no one I've met, and she naturally wove it into the conversation. By themselves, these things were very impressive. Coupled with her circumstances they were awe-inspiring.

Burnette never took the 2:35 train before today. She couldn't. She worked until 3. Today was different though. Today Burnette was informed that it was her last day at work. She was dismissed after lunch. With the loss of her job still fresh in her mind and with an acute awareness of her husband's present unemployment, Burnette took 40 minutes to encourage me that GOD IS FAITHFUL. She's not worried about paying the bills because God blesses her every time as long as she stays in His will. During the course of our conversation, she paused several times to thank and praise God that He already had her next "assignment" lined up. "He's come through for me every time in the past, and this time will be no different," she said enthusiastically. "And He'll do the same for you! He's so faithful!" And this wonderful conversation continued...

There is so much more I could share with you about my encounter with Burnette. What a beautiful, inspiring woman! When I stepped on that train, I was looking forward to meditating on one of the great books of the Bible, but God had something even better lined up for me. Burnette brought me a message from God today:

"God is faithful! You can trust Him to come through for you!"
"No matter where you are, job or no job, you are ALWAYS on assignment for the Lord!"

I won't forget the message she carried, and I won't forget her.

Thank you Burnette for turning an ordinary commute into a heart-softening encounter with God. May God continue to bless you and your husband. And may He continue to show Himself so powerfully in your life as you witness about His greatness. I'm grateful He put you on assignment on Eastbound Train 109 this Tuesday at 2:35pm. Love, peace, and blessings!


"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2)

YOU ARE A SOMEBODY

Satan: You're worthless
God: I stamped you with MY image
Satan: You're a nobody
God: You're my child
Satan: You can't do it
God: Do it
Satan: You're all alone
God: I am with you
Satan: You're unlovable
God: I love you

YOU ARE A SOMEBODY

Suffering or Redemption?

Enemies. Would you rather watch them suffer or watch God redeem them?

“A new thought occurred to [Mrs. May]: suppose Mr. Greenleaf had aroused the bull chunking stones at him and the animal had turned on him and run him up against a tree and gored him? The irony of it deepened: O.T. and E.T. would then get a shyster lawyer and sue her. It would be the fitting end to her fifteen years with the Greenleafs. She thought of it almost with pleasure as if she had hit on the perfect ending for a story she was telling her friends.”

-Flannery O'Connor's "Greenleaf"

People with excessive self-pity and victim thinking expose the end of my grace and mercy. I know people who take this sort of pleasure in misery, and they drain every ounce of love and patience out of me. Before I understood that the bull in O’Connor’s “Greenleaf” was a Christ-type wooing Mrs. May, I was actually pleased when the it charged at her and gored her through the heart. The fact that I was disappointed at the notion that the bull may have been a form of salvation for her made me realize my sinful attitude: I had more satisfaction in the thought of her suffering than the thought of her redemption. I’m ashamed by my heart condition, but I’m glad that I am now aware of this weakness. I’m thankful that “He’s still workin’ on me” because there is a lot of work to do.

Faking Righteousness

This post is the first of a series of journal annotations from this past spring that I will be posting on my blog.

“Hadleyburg was the most honest and upright town in all the region round about. . . . throughout the formative years temptations were kept out of the way of the young people, so that their honesty could have every chance to harden and solidify, and become a part of their very bone” -Mark Twain: “The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg”

Hadleyburg is a town to which many Christians in the “Bible Belt” can probably relate. They had all the outward appearances of righteousness, and they sounded their trumpets so that everyone would know just how holy they were. Like the whitewashed tombs of the Pharisees (cf. Matt. 23:27), this town was truly a wreck on the inside. It was not at all their honesty that was hardening and solidifying, but their pride and hypocrisy. The cause of the problem was the town's refusal to let any temptations or trials through its fortified gates. While they thought they were making righteousness, in reality they were only faking righteousness. As James says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Without the testing of their virtues, the town of Hadleyburg was lacking quite a bit, especially in what they took most pride: honesty.

So how about you? Where are you at? Are you open to being tested and stretched? Or are you content faking righteousness?

No Darkness AT ALL

"God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all."

1 John 1:5

No darkness AT ALL... in contrast to men in whom both darkness and light, both good and evil cohabitate. We are images of God marred by the fall. Author Cornelius Plantinga writes, "Creation speaks out of both sides of its mouth now." Reading through the adjectives Plantinga uses to describe mankind reminds us who we are: half-ruined, twisted, polluted, divided, double-minded, split, spoiled, contaminated, shipwrecked, fallen. Our hearts are both "this and that" where good and evil are intertwined and light is overshadowed.

With all of this mess in our hearts and in our world, we can be grateful that there is One who has retained His pure, uncontaminated holiness.

"God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all."1 John 1:5

Separated?

Lately I've felt convicted about the lack of intimacy I've had with God. Tonight as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I began to repent for the lack of effort on my part. I confessed that I was causing the distance I felt between myself and God. Then I felt led to grab my Bible. "Pick up and read." Hmm... what should I read? "Romans... 8... verse 38." I'm pretty bad with Scripture memory, so I didn't know where God was leading me; I just knew it was a familiar passage. As I reached for my teshuva duck tape Bible, this thought came to me: "No. Grab the Study Bible. You'll want to read the study note."

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

study note on 8:39...

"nor anything else in all creation. Nothing
in the universe is outside God's control; therefore, nothing (including
ourselves) can separate us from His eternal love."

We serve a PERSONAL God! The Holy Spirit counsels us and comforts us according to our personal needs. My lack of effort may have created a feeling of distance between me and God, but NOTHING can separate me from His love. God knows me. He knows my thoughts. He knows my circumstances. He knows what I need to hear. I need to listen. Praise God!

God is 100%

God is 100%...

• God is 100% Holy... He's not mostly holy. He's holy holy holy!!!! (with an infinite number of "holys" and an infinite number of exclamation points!)
• God is 100% Wrathful... He's not bothered by our sin. It's not a nuisance or an irritant. He HATES it!
• God is 100% Patient... He's not kinda patient. He's INCOMPREHENSIBLY patient!
• God is 100% Kind... He's not eh... pretty kind. He's kind beyond measure!
• God is 100% Forgiving... He's not mostly forgiving. He's TOTALLY forgiving!
• God is 100% Faithful... He's not usually mostly faithful. He's ALWAYS TOTALLY faithful!
• God is 100% Loving... He doesn't tell us, "Love ya." He tell us, "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!" (with any infinite amount of exclamation points!)
• God is 100% Joyful... He's not sort of glad to have us around. He's utterly THRILLED that we are His children! (to the point that HE dances over US!)

God is 100%...

Maybe that's why He hates it when we're sort of holy, sort of upset by sin, sort of patient, sort of kind, sort of forgiving, sort of faithful, sort of loving, sort of joyful. Maybe that's why our lukewarmness makes Him sick.

God is 100%.

Let Him work in your life. Walk with Him. He's taking you on a journey toward 100%. And the work will be 100% complete when Christ returns! That's 100% flippin sweet!

From the Inside out

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Hillsong United. United We Stand. From the Inside Out. 2006

Am I Working or Worshiping?

"God is definitely more concerned that He has worshipers than that He has workers. Unfortunately, most evangelicals do not share this concern. For the most part, evangelicals have been reduced to the position where God is a supervisor desperately seeking help. Standing at the wayside, He tries to find how many helpers will come to His rescue and bail Him out of a tight spot. We mistakenly believe that God needs workers, and so we cheerfully say, ‘I’ll go to work for the Lord.’ If we could only remember that as far as His plans are concerned, God does not need us."
-A.W. Tozer

This isn't a "build you up" post. It's a "build God up" post. It's a "tear you down" post. It's a "He must increase I must decrease" post. God does not need you. He does not need me. He does not need workers. Worship God. Then He'll work through you.

In Broken Glass: He Reigns

As I sat in a pile of broken glass on my way to the train station this morning, the Newsboys were ringing out, "It's all God's children singing 'Glory! Glory! Hallelujah He reigns!' ... And all the powers of darkness tremble at what they just heard! Cause all the power of darkness can't drown out a single word!" Like the powers of darkness that led someone to break into my truck last night. Those powers of darkness... they're terrified of God's glory and reign. So even as I sat in broken glass this morning, God reminded me that He reigns.

Thankfully I still had a truck to get me to the station this morning. And thankfully I didn't have anything valuable in the truck; not even a quarter. The would-be thief must have been disappointed when he reached into my coin compartment and found nothing but these coin tracts:


Wow... when I think of it that way... [pat on the back] look how great of a Christian I am! I even evangelize in my sleep! (riiiiiiight... those coins had been sitting there collecting dust for three years. I had no plan to ever use them. Kinda cool that God did.)

Now... where can I find some plastic to cover up that big hole in the back of my truck?

"It's all God's children singing 'Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! He reigns!'"

By Our Love

My wife Jme and I have been exploring Northwest Indiana for a church to plug into for the past several weeks. It's really not a fun process. How do you decide? We've met some really cool people who love the Lord, and now we're trusting that God's hand will land us wherever He wills. It's encouraging that our decision is being made more difficult because so many people have already extended their hands in friendship and love! When God's love pours into and then out of His people, that's a good thing. That's how you can tell. It's the Christian's litmus test. By our love. By our love. By our love.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (Jn 13:35)

Unstoppable: God Wins

Laban & Bethuel

Back in the day, it just wasn't cool to be an old, stale, single man without a son to carry on your family line. Besides, God had promised Abe his offspring would be as numerous as the stars. So when his unmarried son Isaac started getting a little stale, Abe sent his servant off to find a wife. After meeting up with Rebekah through a God-ordained encounter, the servant went with her to get the OK from her dad (Bethuel). Naturally she had a over-protective big bro (Laban) that wanted to hear the scoop too, so the servant shared how God led him to Rebekah. Their response shows that these two guys got it:

Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is totally from God. We have no say in the
matter, either yes or no. Rebekah is yours: Take her and go; let her be the wife
of your master's son, as God has made plain." (Ge 24:50-51 The Message)

God ordained it. They certainly weren't going to waste efforts trying to stop the marriage. Laban & Bethuel got it.


Gamaliel

After Pentecost, the apostles were on fire preaching for God. Shortly into their evangelistic ministry they were thrown in to prison, but God sent an angel who freed them. The next day they when the guards got up, they found some empty cells. They also found that the apostles had picked up right where they left off: preaching in Jesus' name and reminding the Jews that they put the Christ, the Son of God, to death. This only angered the Jews more; they were ready to kill these men of God until Gamaliel stepped in:

Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God. (Acts 5:38-39 NIV)

Gamaliel got it. If it's God's will, it's unstoppable! What about you? Do you get it? Got a calling on your life? Got a task God has placed in your heart and mind? Don't fear, don't waver, don't run. If it's from God, what can we say? Get out of God's way, and let His will run its course. You don't want to find yourselves fighting against God because you'll lose. Which means God wins. No matter what. And that's a good thing!

Good Soil

In the parable of the sower, Jesus teaches about the many soils of the heart. Some soil is too exposed to the dangers of this world and some is just too shallow. Then there's the good soil. Jesus says that this soil yields 30, 60 or even 100 times what was sown! God desires us to have hearts teeming with good soil. If you're desire is the same, there are a variety of actions you can take to accomplish your goal: spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible study, worship, fellowship and serving, for example, will add necessary nutrients to your heart's soil. There are times, however, when it's not our own efforts that produce good soil. God can harden and soften a man's heart as He sees fit (see Exodus 4:21 and 7:3 for an example).

The move to Hammond has been challenging and exciting. Leaving family (including our church family), leaving that nice little life, leaving everything that was familiar... to arrive in a world that's foreign: train rides and busy streets; no trees and no corn; new friends, new church, new work, new budget, new schedule. It's a daily whirlwind of adjustments, but I can already see God using my new circumstances to infuse necessary nutrients in areas of rocky soil. God is faithful. I'm just glad to be a part of His preparatory work in my life, and I'm looking forward to letting Him sow some crops through me!

Moving to Chicago: "Go. Now."

Walking with God is personal, but it's something we do with fellow Christians as well. We're walking with God with one another. God has spoken to me through the people around me more than He has through any other means.

Back in June, shortly after I sensed God telling me to "Go" to Moody in Chicago, I started asking God the next question: "When?" And I was pretty sure that God's response was, "Now." Go. Now. I know that Jesus said His sheep hear His voice, but sometimes I doubt. I don't doubt that God can speak to His people. Not at all. I doubt that God will speak to me. And I trust God... I just don't trust myself to hear Him. Too many selfish agendas muffling and distorting His voice. Thankfully we're walking with God with one another. So I called a friend and filled Him in on what I'd been praying about... without giving him the details. I asked him to get back to me and let me know if he was hearing God with any clarity. A couple days later he called me and said, "I feel like God is saying, 'Go now.'" Go. Now. Hmmmm... It's almost like I've heard that somewhere before...

Moving to Chicago: Wise in My Eyes

John Eldridge writes that part of walking with God is reading Scripture intimately, not just intellectually. Every now and then we need to drop our programs and ask, "God, what do you want me to read tonight?" Sometimes you'll be led immediately to a passage. Other times you'll draw a blank. But this particular night, God led me to Proverbs 3:7.

Don't be wise in your own eyes,
fear the Lord and shun evil.

Huh? Ok... so I meditated on this verse for a few days wondering what in the world God was getting at. Then I decided to read the verse in context. Turns out it's predecessor is among the most familiar verses in the Bible:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

Don't be wise in your own eyes... when you zoom the lens out just a tad, the picture becomes more revealing. Who am I going to trust? That's the real issue here. God could have gotten straight to the point and led me to 3:5-6, but I needed a warning. Don't be wise in your own eyes.

I'm a "figure it out" sort of guy. Lists, charts, equations, formulas... where would I be with out them? Weigh the pros and cons, and the balance will reveal the answer. Punch in the numbers, and you'll find the solution. What other way is there? Don't be wise in your own eyes. What other way is there? Trust in the Lord with all your heart...

Ok God... now I see. My wisdom isn't yours. Help me to seek and follow yours and suppress my own. If my family is moving to Chicago, there are a lot of things that have to be worked out. Matriculation (my new favorite word), housing, jobs, childcare, finding a new church home... I can either figure it out myself (be wise in my own eyes) or I can trust God with it.

Moving to Chicago: White Knuckles

Walking with God... exciting... just be ready for your world to be totally flipped.

God knows what turns our knuckles white. He knows exactly what it is that you and I are gripping so tightly. Our wallets. Our jobs. Cars. Homes. Golf clubs. Entertainment. Comfort. Power... Property. 3.3 acres across from Driver Middle School to be specific. God, you can use me annnnyway you like, but let me show you the property boundaries first.

One of the things I'll miss most about 285 S 100 E is the mowing. Throw on my Husqvarna headphones, put some RK on my ipod, sit back and follow the fresh-cut lines created by my Toro Wheelhorse. My escape.

I was in the middle of one of these escapes back in June when God got my attention. By this time I'd had a week or so to process the layoff. God often uses these desperate times to shake us out of our slumber. I was sitting on my 20hp rider when I began praying this prayer. Be careful what you pray. Be even more careful if you mean it! God knows what turns our knuckles white.

"God what do you want me to do now?"

"You already know," was His answer.

I'm very skeptical when people say, "God said," and I don't say it myself very often. But in this case, I'm just sayin', "God said."

"You already know."


"I already know what?"

After a few more passes on the rider, I knew what I already knew. Youth ministry. Moody. The two most sure callings in my life. I can run but I can't hide. They've chased me down every alley and around every corner. God was right. I already knew. But just in case... "God, do you want me to go to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and study youth ministry?"

"Go."

Go... go means leaving. Leaving family. Friends. Ministries. Familiarity. The property.

Be careful what you pray. God knows exactly what turns our knuckles white.

Moving to Chicago: Walking with God

"It's really a red pill - blue pill moment." At least that's what a good friend told me about John Eldredge's Walking with God. I had no idea what he was talking about because I couldn't get past the whole, "Jesus found my watch" story (You'd have to read the book or listen to the CDs to know what I'm talking about... aka "You have to read this book! It will change your life! ;o)).

What a terrible attitude! Satan was completely stealing any joy or motivation I could possibly find through these CDs, and I didn't even realize it. At least not at first. But when I did, I found that my good friend was right. It really was a red pill - blue pill moment. Walking with God. Daily. I knew this was going to be an exciting new adventure!!